


Space-Time for Clangers

by MarcusRowland



Category: Doctor Who, The Clangers
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-19
Updated: 2012-11-19
Packaged: 2017-11-19 00:34:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 568
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/567052
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MarcusRowland/pseuds/MarcusRowland
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's canon that The Master, arch-enemy of The Doctor, was interested in The Clangers, small pink knitted creatures from another world... How could this possibly be a problem? Read the report and find out! There's even a PowerPoint version!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Space-Time for Clangers

**Author's Note:**

> From the archives of the 2010 Clanger Studies Symposium, London. See end notes for disclaimers etc.
> 
> Powerpoint version [here.](http://www.forgottenfutures.co.uk/album/clangers.ppt)

  
**Space-Time for Clangers**  
A possible explanation of certain anomalies in the apparent structure of the Clanger planet.  
_by Marcus L. Rowland_  


[Slide 1]

No Clanger would have believed, in the first years of the 1970s, that their world was being watched by an intelligence vaster and less sympathetic than any Clanger...

[Slide 2]

But why were the Time Lords interested in such a small insignificant world?

Perhaps its size is itself the clue…

Everything that we know about it leads to one inescapable conclusion…

_It’s bigger on the inside than on the outside!_

[Slide 3]

The interior of the Clanger planet is a tunnel complex whose volume appears to exceed that of the outer planet.

[Slide 4]

The gravity behaves oddly:  
* It fades rapidly with altitude.  
* Passing objects are not attracted to the surface, they must be pulled down.  
* Gravity does not increase inside.  
Where else have we seen these phenomena?

[Slide 5]

The Clanger “planet” appears to be an example of Time Lord dimensional engineering.

The only off-world use for this technology we’ve seen is in the TARDIS and its sister ships.

Could the entire world be an abandoned TARDIS?

[Slide 6]

It is in an area where alien species and odd alien devices often appear.  
* Such areas are known as “rifts”  
* The TARDIS recharges on “rift energy”

Hypothesis 1: A TARDIS developed a dangerous fault while recharging and was subsequently abandoned by its occupants.

[Slide 7]

Hypothesis 2: The doors were left open, or were non-operational.

Hypothesis 3: If left in space, a TARDIS will camouflage itself as a moon or planetoid, even a full-sized planet, if that will ensure that it goes unnoticed.

Note the example of the planet Calufrax, originally part of the Key to Time, a relatively small device.

[Slide 8]

Hypothesis 4: It was subsequently colonised by creatures from the rift, such as the Clangers.

Hypothesis 5: A TARDIS is aware of the needs of its occupants, and provides appropriate quarters, food, etc.  
The Clangers were cave-dwellers on their native world, and the interior of the TARDIS was shaped accordingly.

[Slide 9]

Given this history, why would a Time Lord such as The Master be interested in an inoperable TARDIS?

Hypothesis 6: The Clanger TARDIS may be repairable to some extent.

Given the Master’s history, this is not good news for the rest of the universe.

[Slide 10]

Hypothesis 7: If the Clanger TARDIS is repairable, it is NOT repairable as a functioning time machine

* The Master has gone to great lengths to steal alternatives.  
* He has not been shown attempting to repair the Clanger machine.

[Slide 11]

Hypothesis 8: The Master knows that the Clanger TARDIS is charging at a Rift. He plans to use the energy it accumulates for his own purposes.

But what are his purposes?

[Slide 12]

Hypothesis 9: The Master has made it clear that he regards the universe as expendable, if he does not control it.

Hypothesis 10: A planet sized TARDIS left to accumulate Rift energy is the ultimate doomsday device. Sooner or later it will explode and take the universe with it.

[Slide 13]

The conclusion is inevitable. The Master intends to use the Clanger TARDIS to destroy the whole of space-time, probably after his death.

In order to prevent this the Clanger TARDIS must be destroyed. A funding proposal for this project will be submitted at the next meeting of this symposium.

**End.**

**Author's Note:**

> The Clangers were created by Oliver Postgate and his company Smallfilms and broadcast by the BBC in 1969-72. Scenes from the episode _The Rock Collector_ were avidly watched by The Master in the Doctor Who series _The Sea Devils_ in 1972. Some episodes of the series can usually be found on line, at YouTube and elsewhere. Use of characters and images from these series is for non-profit entertainment only, and there is no intent to infringe on copyright.
> 
> There really was a 2010 symposium on The Clangers, held at the UK National Science Fiction Convention. I originally presented a much shorter version of this talk there, though at the time I had not considered the more sinister implications of the nature of the Clanger planet.
> 
> The title was suggested by _Space-Time for Springers,_ a story by Fritz Leiber.
> 
> More evidence for the transcendent nature of the Clanger asteroid can be found in this episode description  
> http://www.clivebanks.co.uk/Clangers/Tophat.htm
> 
> And here's a fun Clanger video that gives a different reason to worry about them...  
> Attack of the Clangers by Nathan Yeoman  
> http://youtu.be/VF4c9BrJnYc


End file.
